Soft Place to Land: Group Spiritual Companioning
photograph by Laura MacCarald
by Kerr Mesner
I have long loved the work of group facilitation. There is something both challenging and enlivening in the depth of work that can take place in a thoughtfully held small group experience. In 2020, as it became clear the pandemic was not going to be resolved quickly, I began to discern a “leading”, as the Quakers might say, to offer online group spiritual companioning to folks who work in academia. I was working in academia at the time and was familiar with the ways academic life can deplete the spirit. I wanted to offer a gentler space to other academic travelers of the spirit. And so, my practice of group spiritual companioning began. Nowadays, alongside the academic group, I offer a second one for folks from various contexts.
I call them “Soft Place to Land” groups, because they are intended to offer just that: a loving, compassionate space of connection and community with others who are interested in exploring their spiritual paths. I use an adapted version of the journey group process that we experienced in the SoulGuiding program. I continue to be moved by this deceptively simple model that is so powerful and effective.
And, there is something profound that runs deeper than any process, model, or personal belief system. Somehow, in the work of gathering online once a month, we are building something together… a shared container… a space where, for two hours out of the month, we are pausing, listening, and deepening together. In a time when many are wrestling with isolation, disconnection, and community ruptures, we find an oasis where we really show up for each other.
There is much to feel discouraged about these days. And yet, there is something radically hopeful about this work. I speak not only of my work as the spiritual companion, but of the courageous work of the group members. The act of pausing, taking “set aside” time, listening deeply to oneself, to the others in the group, and to whatever one understands as greater-than – this work feels countercultural in the best possible sense.
As a spiritual companion, I feel tremendous gratitude for the opportunity to travel alongside my group members. Our shared journey is a gift, and I look forward to seeing where it takes us next.
Kerr Mesner
is a spiritual director trained in the Pacific Jubilee SoulGuiding program. He is a consultant and facilitator, as well as a queer/transgender contemplative Christian, performing artist, and activist. He is an ordained minister with Metropolitan Community Churches, and is part of the staff team at Geez Magazine. In his spare time, he enjoys writing songs and playing in his garden. You can find out more about Kerr’s work at Heart Story Consulting. Read about his spiritual practice here.
