Rethinking “Should”
photograph by Robert Britton
by Julie Elliot
I give a lot of thought to spiritual practices. It’s a natural subject as a spiritual companion and program mentor in SoulGuiding.* I’ve noticed that often in conversations about spiritual practices, sentences begin with, “I should …” This thought comes with ideas about having more discipline and trying harder. It’s as if we are trying to get somewhere and make something happen that requires a different sort of life; one with a solid routine. Some can manage that but most people have lives that are full of surprises with little or no control over their schedule. Distractions and demands pull us in every direction and we’re left feeling that someday we’ll get there. Someday, when this or that changes, we’ll be able to have what a spiritual practice should be.
And what do we mean by spiritual practice? I think spiritual practices are the ways we deepen and grow our souls. They are practices that bring us into Presence and allow something new to move through our three centres of intelligence - our minds, hearts and bodies. They are ways we increase our being so we can access joy, wonder, beauty and love. These never go away, but when we’re distracted, tense or angry we aren’t as present to them. With this definition, a spiritual practice can be anything that helps us slow down and step out of busyness. Aware. Mindful. Present.
A mother walks her son to preschool three times a week. She leaves early so they won’t be rushed. As her four-year old stops to gather handfuls of wet, red leaves, the mother is relaxed and calm. When he splashes in a puddle, she refrains from telling him to get out of the water. It’s fine. Her mind wanders to what’s next and she brings herself back to the story her son is telling right now. She looks up and sees that the sky is blue with grey clouds. An old, useless memory pushes in. She notices and lets it go, returning to the warmth of her son’s hand in hers. They have arrived at the school. She bends down for a kiss and watches as he runs through the open door. It’s true that her yoga practice is gone but she has decided that walking her son to school is a spiritual practice. There is no need for anything more.
*SoulGuiding is a two-year experiential program in spiritual direction. Learn more here.
Julie Elliot
is a spiritual companion trained in the Pacific Jubilee SoulGuiding program. Lately, her spiritual practice is to paint mandalas with tiny brushes that require patience and a letting go of perfection. Read about Julie's spiritual direction practice here.
