Holy Listening
photograph by Harli Marten
by Brian E. Pearson
We've all been there. Someone in a small group is sharing a personal story, something that has meaning and significance for them. We're listening, but only sort of. Because while they're talking, a story of our own is awakening within us, making it difficult for us to let them finish, so excited do we become about telling our own story. But then, as we keep ourselves in check and feign interest in what they're saying, someone else cuts in with their story. No fair, we think. It was my turn!
We all need someone we can talk to, someone who will listen to our stories while holding back on their own, letting us say it all until we're done. We need deep listening, the kind that hears not only the old worn-out stories we tell ourselves but also the new stories trying to emerge, not only the bad but also the good. We need what some would call "holy listening" – listening for the presence of the Divine within us, for the inner deaths and rebirths calling us to new life, and for the subtle movements of soul that want to guide us toward the life we are meant to be living.
This precisely describes the field we know as spiritual direction. Despite the traditional nomenclature ("spiritual direction" comes from the hierarchical monastic practice of a senior monk advising a junior), it's more about companionship than advice. One person is simply listening to another, paying attention to what is happening beneath the stories, the hurts and the hopes, to what God might be doing in the midst of it all.
Spiritual direction is an art. And I can think of no one better to talk about it than spiritual director, Lois Huey-Heck, who also happens to be an artist. Lois has put in her hours, both receiving and providing training in spiritual direction. But even more, she has the natural gifts that make it second nature to her: compassion, depth, inquisitiveness, generosity, attentiveness, humour. She knows how to create a welcoming spaciousness for the people who come to her, whether in person or, more commonly these days, online.
As you listen to my conversation with Lois about the soulful practice of spiritual direction, I suspect many of you will want to know more. Someone would actually listen to me? Without judgment? And with an ear for what God is doing in my life? Sign me up! Others may reflect that they already listen this way themselves, to their family and friends. They might be encouraged to hear the work they do so naturally described as "holy listening." Either way, there are loving, generous, and open-hearted souls out there who want to hear what we have to say, every last word.
Listen to the interview here:
Brian E. Pearson
is a writer, musician, and the producer and host of the podcast, The Mystic Cave. A former Anglican priest, Brian now explores the far side of conventional religion—the contemplative side, the soulful side, the eco-spiritual side, and even the woo-woo side, where talking to trees, writing sacred poetry, and summoning the dead may be the new normal. He received his training in spiritual direction through Jubilee in one of the earliest programs offered in Ontario, 1993/94, with Donald Grayston and Susanne Decrane.
